Unemployed? What to do next? Tips how to stay motivated, busy & connected!!

Well you are laid off, now what are you going to do?? All news says its gloomy out there and some of them are audacious to hope even in this situation. What are you going to do next? Find a job right? Before that you need to prepare yourself and heal your inner-self and confidence !! Start believing that there is still light out there.

I have made a list of things that you can do for your personal and emotional health after you are laid off and are struggling to keep it up to your own-self.

1. Reach out to people for help. Most often all of us have enough self pride that we might appear fragile or weak and torn after laid-off if we might ask for help. But that is not the case. Friends and family are the people who are the most supportive. You will see that even those family members that you don’t gel with so well are more supportive than you thought they would be.

2. Reach out to friends and your well-wishers. I don’t think that I have to go rounds and rounds about friends. They are just great human beings. They will sogg you up with your and their tears and yet make you smile at the very next minute. They crack stupid jokes that you know are stupid and you know that they are making an attempt to make you smile, but you smile anyways. Same goes for the well-wishers. They know why they are going to be there for you, when you need the most and when you have almost no one to depend on. Just reach out to them, talk to them in general or whine ( if you choose to do this), and I guarantee that you will feel atleast 10 times better.

3. It was just a job and your world hasn’t crumble just yet. Read this line once more, read it as many times you need to before you can get this past your head. For most people in this materialistic world, job and source of income is very important and so was for me. But all doesn’t end there. You have a wonderful life that the Lord gave it you. Now, this door to make it even more beautiful and fun, might have closed for now, if you work and struggle through it, you will find another as well. Here is a quote that I read years ago in one of the books by Robert H Schuller
“Every opportunity is unique. If you like something so much that you want to follow it even when it has passed by, then you should. But remember this that this second time the same opportunity is not going to be the same. It can be better or worse. You will have to pay a different price for this opportunity this time. Now the question is that are you ready to pay the price for it?”
Are you ready to pay the price to find another job? Are you willing to work your way up again as you did before? Are you ready to stand in lines for interviews and mocks? Have you had a chance to look up to your resume? These are some of the questions that I would you to ask yourself and make your mind before you go out again and try for new jobs.

4. Get involved. That’s so big that I can’t explain how big. While I was growing up, my folks always told me this: “Your mind is like a page. If you write good things, you will get good things and vice –versa. Alternatively empty mind is devil’s playground.” This implies that mind will keep on thinking, if you direct it to do constructive things, it will work for that, if you let it loose, you are doomed very soon. So get involved. For example, in my case in Rochester, NYI joined Rochester Young Professionals group! They are not really big, but have size-able membership and all of the them are young people ( mostly ha ha). There are monthly events and weekly events. It is upto you how much and where you have to get involved. It helps in organizing networking events and building professional relationships as well. So, get out and get involved.

5. Take a minute or two and also a paper and pencil. Remember all of those things that you always wanted to do, but didn’t do till now because of time commitment or job involvement. Take time to hone the skills what you got and what you always wanted to get. Personally I got involved in some of the following things.

Stay Tuned for " Unemployed? What to do next? Tips how to stay motivated, busy & connected!! - Part 2"

Surprising reasons you're not having sex

Not getting any? You're not alone: Women today have less time for sex than their 1950s counterparts. And it's estimated that 40 million Americans have what experts call a sexless marriage (having sex less than 10 times a year).


Bringing too many distractions to bed can put a crimp in your sex life.

A regular sex life is good for your health. It can satisfy all sorts of emotional- and physical-intimacy needs and help partners stay close, says Anita H. Clayton, M.D., a professor of psychiatry at the University of Virginia and author of "Satisfaction: Women, Sex, and the Quest for Intimacy." So why the dry spell? You can chalk it up to a sheer lack of time, but there are a slew of other reasons, too -- from weight gain and peri menopause to technology overload (stop texting now) in the bedroom. Here's how to beat these sex busters.

Your bed isn't sexy anymore.

We hear it over and over again: The bed should be used for sex and sleep only. So why do so many of us insist on bringing third parties -- laptops, PDAs, "Law & Order" -- into the boudoir? All that technology and distraction can cause insomnia and put a damper on your sex life. After all, it's harder to initiate sex if your spouse is hiding behind a newspaper or glued to the TV or if your hands are busy exploring the Web rather than his body. Health.com: 10 dreamy bedrooms

Sex Rx: At a minimum, make the bedroom a no-technology zone, Clayton suggests. Then take a hard look at your life (from romance and work to entertainment and family), and give sex the priority it deserves. If you have to schedule sex as you would a meeting, do it!

Your meds are stealing your sex drive.

Oh, the irony. You start taking oral contraceptives (OCs) so you can have worry-free sex. Then the magic little pills start sapping your sex drive. Why? OCs contain estrogen, which increases the production of a protein called sex-hormone binding globulin (SHBG), says Michael Krychman, M.D., medical director of sexual medicine at Hoag Hospital in Newport Beach, California, and executive director of the Southern California Center for Sexual Health and Survivorship Medicine. SHBG can trap testosterone, affecting your sex drive. There are even new data suggesting that this negative impact might be long-term. Other potential sex-drive-stalling meds to be on the lookout for: those that reduce blood pressure, anxiety, and acid reflux, and antidepressants, too.

Sex Rx: Ask your doc about the sexual side effects of all of your drugs. You may also want to try a contraceptive method that doesn't use hormones, such as condoms, a diaphragm, or an IUD.

Your crazy-busy life.

You spend your days working, cooking, working out, taking care of the family. And, still, at 11:30 p.m., "you're expected to wave this magic goddess wand," Krychman says. It's enough to make even Pamela Anderson curl up in bed and cry, "headache." Besides totally tuckering you out, the chronic stresses of modern life can also trigger a cascade of hormonal changes that mess with your body's sexual-response cycle. And here's another modern sex buster that adds to all the craziness: today's always-connected technology. Health.com: The plus side of going without sex

Sex Rx: With spontaneous sex almost out of the question, you need some serious "life management" to work it in, experts say. Put a lock on the master bedroom door and set a technology time limit. Shift gears from the harried pace of everyday life with a soothing bath, suggests Health contributor and Los Angeles--based sex therapist Linda De Villers, Ph.D. Plunging into warm water takes you away from the laptops and cell phones that clog up your day. Add a few drops of ylang-ylang essential oil; the aroma is thought to heighten sexual feelings.

You don't like your body.

Many women find themselves withdrawing or not willing to experiment sexually if they're overweight or have a change in shape due to pregnancy, Clayton says. "Emotionally, we've bought into the media's idealization of what is really sexy. The message is, you have to look a certain way in order to have really good sex." Health.com: Look 10 years thinner

Sex Rx: "Women have a talent for disliking the very things about themselves that other people find very attractive," De Villers says. Feel free to ask him what he likes about your body; his compliments can help you feel more positive. But don't underestimate the mental boost of shedding some pounds. In a recent Health.com survey, 37 percent of respondents said losing weight makes them feel sexy. In fact, even a five-pound weight loss has been shown to jump-start sex drive.

You've hit perimenopause.

Before menopause, hormonal shifts -- specifically decreasing estrogen -- lead to physiological changes that can make sex seem about as appealing as running a marathon with a pebble in your sock. Sensitive vaginal tissues become less lubricated, the ensuing dryness leads to pain, and painful sex quickly turns into no sex, Krychman says. Hot flashes don't help matters, either. A landmark study published last year in the American Journal of Obstetrics and Gynecology shows women whose sexual desire drops during menopause are more apt to report night sweats, disturbed sleep, and depression.

Sex Rx: Talk to your physician about the pros and cons of hormone replacement therapy (HRT), which may lessen menopausal symptoms. New research shows an estrogen cream or suppository may ease dryness without the risks of HRT. Lubricants such as Replens or his-and-hers lubes from K-Y can also help, especially if pain during intercourse is a problem. Pine bark extract is also getting a lot of buzz: A study in the Scandinavian Journal of Obstetrics and Gynecology found that it may alleviate hot flashes, depression, panic attacks, elevated cholesterol, and other symptoms linked with perimenopause. Talk to your doctor before trying anything new.

Your man's just not that into it.

You may actually be raring to go, but your partner's engine seems stalled. Perhaps he's emotionally withdrawing, says Bob Berkowitz, Ph.D., co-author of "He's Just Not Up for It Anymore: Why Men Stop Having Sex, and What You Can Do About It." "The usual problems between husbands and wives can play out in the bedroom," he says, especially if your partner has a hard time expressing his feelings properly. Or, he may want you to be more sexually adventurous. You needn't hang from chandeliers; it could be as simple as being a more enthusiastic lover. Health.com: 12 secrets to better orgasms

Sex Rx: Talk it out in a blame-free way. "It's understandable that a woman would feel rejected," Berkowitz says. But don't confront him with 'What the hell is going on? Are you cheating on me?' or he'll shut down. If a man's sex life is not working out, he may feel he's failed as a man, because men invest so much of themselves in their sexuality," Berkowitz adds. So try to broach the subject in a loving way.

You're depressed.

When you're feeling down in the dumps, desire can take a big hit, particularly if you're female. Women tend to isolate themselves, Clayton says, and that can strain even the strongest of romantic relationships. Antidepressants may lift the dark cloud, but some affect your ability to have an orgasm.
Health Library

* MayoClinic.com: Health Library

Sex Rx: If you notice your sex drive takes a nosedive after you start a new medication, tell your doctor; she may be able to prescribe an alternative, such as Wellbutrin (bupropion), which doesn't affect orgasm. Consider different avenues of treatment, too. "Psychotherapy doesn't cause sexual dysfunction and is effective, especially in mild-to-moderate depression," Clayton says. Exercise also helps; it enhances mood and energy, and it boosts blood flow to the genitals.

Your man is Viagra-ized.

The "Viagra-ization" of men, as Krychman calls it, isn't just happening to seniors. Younger men are taking the erectile-dysfunction drug, too, sometimes just to enhance sexual performance. The result can be a physical and emotional disconnect in bed. "The man takes the medication and is ready to go, but the woman needs more time to get aroused, to get connected." The sexes tend to deal with anxiety in opposite ways, too, Clayton says. Men head to the bedroom to relieve stress, while women often need to be relaxed to even have sex.

Sex Rx: Clayton suggests finding time for some nonthreatening and nonjudgmental sex talk (not in bed), during which a woman can discuss what she needs in bed to even the playing field.

You're sick and tired.

About 10 to 15 percent of the women Krychman treats for low libido end up having an endocrine problem, such as undiagnosed thyroid disease, which can affect menstrual functioning and lead to exhaustion, depression, low sexual desire, and fertility problems. Women who have chronic illnesses --such as fibromyalgia, anemia, diabetes, or rheumatoid arthritis --may not be in the mood, either, thanks to fatigue or body pain. And women who have diabetes may also experience poor lubrication, low arousal, and a propensity for yeast infections. Health.com: Boost your energy

Sex Rx: Once a thyroid condition or anemia is detected and corrected, any associated symptoms should dissipate. If you're battling a chronic disease, you should take the focus off of the intercourse and explore other ways to achieve sexual and sensual pleasure, Clayton says.